Remember those walls I built?
by Amelia-34
Summary: An attempt to write a collection of drabbles relating to Kenna and Bash's married life. (title inspired by Beyonce's Halo just in case you haven't already guessed)
1. Chapter 1

A cold chill fills the air of Bash and Kenna's chambers. Only a few pieces of wood remain in the modest fireplace and the once roaring fire is starting to burn out. The change in light and temperature that this has brought has gone completely unnoticed by Kenna who is staring intently out of the window. There is a letter clutched tightly in her right hand and her expression wold be almost unreadable if it weren't for the tear marks that stain her cheeks. As fresh tears begin to fall from her eyes she doesn't bother to wipe them away but her left hand moves to touch the delicate necklace that rests on her chest.

The stillness of the room is interrupted as Bash swiftly throws open the doors of their chambers. His hair is a mess and his boots and clothes are covered in dirt; evidence of the time he has spent in the woods hunting the darkness. His shoulders are slightly hunched and his arms hang heavily at his sides. Despite the air of exhaustion that clearly surrounds his demeanour there is a feeling of unrest and agitation that animates the expression in his eyes.

'I feel as though I am completely wasting my time. Not one of the villagers or Pagan families that I have spoken to is willing to help me and most will barely even talk to me at all. When I volunteered for the position of King's deputy I stupidly thought that I might actually be able to help people. But what am I supposed to do when the people that need to my help are too scared to accept it?'

Despite Bash's sudden entrance and fair from quiet rant about the unsuccessful nature of his most recent endeavour into the woods Kenna remains too engrossed in her own thoughts to notice his arrival. Kenna's unresponsiveness doesn't go unnoticed by Bash. She is the type to dole out the silent treatment but not when the situation is clearly open for her to ridicule her husband.

'Kenna?'

His initial attempt to get her attention fails and he allows a hint of exasperation into his voice as he calls her name again.

'Kenna?'

Bash sighs as he fails to get her attention one more. She is clearly intent on ignoring him and he doesn't intend on wasting what little energy he has left trying to get his stubborn wife to answer him. Instead he turns his attention to getting out of his dirt ridden clothes so that he can finally get some decent sleep. Bash hastily removes his belt and his sword and throws them to the floor. The noise that they make as they hit the cold stone finally breaks Kenna out of her trance like state. With a sharp intake of breath both of Kenna's hands goes to clutch at her chest as she spins around to face her husband.

'Bash! You almost gave me a heart attack! Would it kill you to act with at least a little more grace?'

'Perhaps not. Then again would it kill you to pay a little more attention to your husband?'

At this Kenna's expression changes from one of surprise to one of incredulity as she raises her eyebrows. Once again Bash sighs before addressing her.

'I did try to get your attention when I came in. I called your name twice but you seemed intent on failing to notice my presence.' Bash's statement causes Kenna to blush slightly as she fails to find a witty retort. Kenna shifts her attention to the small chip in the stone at her feet and takes a deep breath as she tries to fight the rush of blood that is slowly heating up her cheeks. It isn't too long before she has thought of something to say but as she lifts her gaze to look at Bash once again he chooses this moment to continue undressing. As he removes his shirt in one swift motion the heat returns to Kenna's face and the words that were on her tongue disappear leaving her mouth dry.

This time Kenna turns her attention to the slowly dwindling fire that is barely managing to heat their room. Kenna's changes in emotion have gone unnoticed by Bash who has decided to once again fill the silence that permeates the room.

'I always thought that most wives eagerly awaited their husband's safe return home.'

'Yes well perhaps I was never meant to be a _conventional_ wife.' As she speaks Kenna adds more wood to the fire and subtly begins to wipe at her cheeks and under her eyes to remove any trace of her tears from her face. She doesn't want Bash to know that she has been crying. She begins to smile slightly as she continues to express her sentiments. 'and perhaps ' _most wives_ ' have more to look forward to than the return of sullen face and judgemental remarks.'

This time it is Bash who raises his eyebrows as Kenna turns to face him. Taking in his expression Kenna decides to carry on with her remarks.

'But if it makes you feel any better…' Kenna shifts her expression into one of over exuberant joy as she continues to talk. 'Oh Bash how great it is to _finally_ have you home. Your presence simply brightens up the room! I have missed you oh so terribly'

Bash laughs at her display of playful sarcasm and decides to play along.

'Oh yes I can see how distraught you've been during my absence. It appears that you have barely been able to keep a fire going.'

'Well how is a woman supposed to perform her wifely duties when her _dear_ husband is not around to appreciate them?'

'Maybe if she were not so dismissive of her servants…'

'Yes well if I wanted to overhear vicious gossip about myself I'd spend my time with the _delightful_ ladies of French court rather than hiding out here all day.' At her confession the awkwardness that they'd been fighting against settles itself back into the air. 'Then again maybe I should call the servants back to prepare you a bath. Do you not ride by any rivers or streams on your little adventures?' As Kenna begins to walk towards the doors of their compartments Bash notices the letter that still lays on the floor by the window.

'Believe it or not but hunting down evil does not leave much time for bathing'

'Clearly.' Kenna's retort hangs in the air as she leaves the room to go and fetch whichever servants are on duty at this time.

The easy smile on Bash's face slowly drops as her begins to read Kenna's letter. Bash goes to sit down at his desk as he continues to read and his expression becomes taken over by pain and anger. Once he has finished reading he places the letter on top of the paperwork that fills his desk and slowly places his head in his hands.

Kenna bursts back into the room with a young serving girl following closely behind. At her return Bash jumps to stand up and retrieves the letter from his desk.

'Kenna?'

This time Bash's voice is strained and filled with worry as he approaches Kenna. Her eyes immediately drop to the pieces of parchment in his hand and her composure breaks; making way for the pained expression that now fills her face. At her reaction Bash's own expression softens as he reaches out for her. Kenna glances at the servant preparing Bash's bath and her whole body tenses.

'Isn't it a fine evening? I was thinking of taking a walk. I shall let you bathe in peace.'

Kenna turns around and quickly exits the room; slamming the door behind her.

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Kenna is standing by the water's edge. Her expression is calmer than before but there is still a trace of pain in the set of her eyes. She closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath and listens to the sound of the water. Bash slowly approaches behind her and slightly brushes his palm against the dip of her spine as he comes to stand beside her. Kenna momentarily relaxes into his touch. Bash looks down at her and she gives him a small smile in return before returning her attention to the water. She twists the ring that Bash gave her as she starts to talk.

'When I was younger there was this lake not far from my home in Scotland that I used to visit all of the time. Whenever I was upset I could just stand by it and listen to the sound of the water and it would never fail to relax me. I used to count down the days until summer when I could go swimming as much as I wanted. I don't know what it is about the water but I've always felt at home there.'

As she speaks she rests her head on Bash's shoulder and his arm comes to wrap around her waist and his fingers begin to gently trace the dip of her hip. It is quiet for a moment before Bash speaks.

'I'm sorry about your family. It can't be easy having them disown you like that.'

Kenna closes her eyes as her face tenses up in pain. For a moment she attempts to hold everything back but Bash's frankness made her want to open up. Kenna turns and buries her face in Bash's chest and lets the tears come. As she begins to cry quietly Bash wraps both of his arms around her small frame and rub soothing circles into her back. They stay like this for a while until Kenna decides to confide in her husband.

'I don't know what to do Bash. I never thought I could lose their love. I just want them to forgive me.'

'I don't believe that you could lose their love, Kenna, they're your family. Their forgiveness might just take time but they will forgive you I am sure of it.'

Kenna holds on to him tighter before she steps back and looks up at him.

'You really believe that?'

As Bash replies her wipes the tears from under her eyes.

'I do but then again my family has always been completely free of scandal so what would I know?'

Kenna laughs slightly as she looks down and takes one of Bash's hands within both of her own. She stares at the scar of the back of Bash's hand and begins to trace it with her thumb as she contemplates just how much she wants to share with him.

'When I have been at my lowest in this castle it has always been thoughts of my family and our home in Scotland that carried me through. I have missed my home for so long but now I fear that I will never have one to go back to.' Bash pushes the hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear.

'You will always have a home as long as you are my wife.' The sincerity of Bash's words makes Kenna smile before she briefly captures his lips with her own.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Bash bends down to place a gentle kiss on Kenna's forehead before gesturing towards the castle 'It's late and it's getting colder by the minute are you ready to head back inside?'

Kenna nods and they make their way back to their chambers together.


	2. Chapter 2

As Kenna and Bash walked back to their chambers in in companionable silence Kenna couldn't help but let her mind wander. Outside she had let Bash comfort her because she wanted to be comforted. She wanted so desperately to believe that Bash's words could be true. She wanted to believe that her family, that her father, could forgive her for the 'deplorable acts of promiscuity' that she had committed whilst at French court. Kenna just wasn't too sure that the familial bond between her and her father was strong enough to mend such a rift without a great act of atonement on her part. Not that she believed her actions required atonement. She did not believe that whilst the promiscuity of men was rewarded hers should be punished so harshly. Nor did she believe that shad acted in a 'completely foolish manner'. Whilst risky her affair with the King of France could have one day proved profitable. Isn't that why she was sent to France, anyway? To find a good match. All her father had ever wanted was to marry her off to any man of title or substantial income. Before her mother had died he had been kinder but ever since her death he had only acted as though Kenna were a burden that he couldn't wait to get rid of. Now that she had failed him and 'brought considerable shame upon the family name' Kenna was sure her father would never speak to her again.

Kenna's brother's on the other hand were a different story. They had always been kind and always treated her with nothing but love and respect. Perhaps there was hope with them at least. She should write to both of them as soon as she got the chance. Kenna decided that she should tell them as much as possible; let them know that she wasn't ashamed of her actions. She would also confide in them of the King's cruelty. It has been so long since she'd spoken with her brothers and she needed to confide in someone. She had told Bash some things of course but she still didn't feel ready to disclose everything to him just yet. As Kenna's thoughts drifted to Bash she contemplated asking for his help in writing to her brothers. That was the sort of thing wives did, right? She had promised him that she would give this marriage a chance after all.

They were almost back to their chambers when Bash decided to comment on Kenna's silence. She wasn't exactly the most reserved of people when it came to expressing emotions and he was worried that she was still feeling greatly out of sorts.

'You've been quiet, are you sure you're feeling at all better?'

'I am, truly. Being able to confide in you and to have you support lightened my burden considerably. It's just I've been thinking of _how_ exactly I'm going to mend the bond with my family.'

As they reach the doors to their chambers Bash hold the door open for Kenna who enters with a smile of thanks whilst Bash continued their conversation.

'And have you managed to think of anything?'

'I'm not quite sure'

Bash raises his eyebrow as if gesturing for her to continue.

'Well I was thinking that my relationship with my brothers would be much easier to mend than that of mine and my father's. I feel as though they've always cared for me more than he had.'

'So…'

'So, I was thinking of writing them a letter.'

'A letter?'

'Yes a letter. God, you don't have to make it sound so stupid!'

'Kenna that was not my intention. I think it's a great idea. I was just wondering what this letter would contain.'

'The truth.'

'You intend to tell them everything?'

'Yes I think so. I mean I won't exactly go into details but if I could at least let them know my side of things rather than whatever gossip has managed to reach them in Scotland.'

During their conversation Kenna had been attempting to undress but struggled with the laces of her corset. As had become custom over the past few days Bash moved to assist Kenna with a fond smile on his face.

'You think that they will be more inclined to mend the bridges that have been broken?'

'Exactly.' Kenna smiles over her shoulder at Bash as she moved to continue undressing behind the screen. 'I know it will not be that simple but it's a start.'

'Then you should do it.'

'I was also thinking…'

'Yes?' As Kenna had moved behind the screen Bash had taken this opportunity to undress for bed also.

'Well I was thinking that perhaps, one day, eventually…'

'Yes, Kenna?'

'I could invite them to visit us at court?'

'Your family?'

'Yes, Bash, my family.' Kenna chose that moment to walk back out from behind the screen so that her husband could see her role her eyes. 'Well technically just my brothers. I've never really been that close with my father and I doubt that he would come anyway.'

'But you're sure that they would?'

'In time, yes. Once we have established ourselves fully at court. My brothers love me. I know that they do. If they can see that I am happy, and in time I'm sure that I, that _we,_ will be then I can't see them being able to harbour any sort of ill will towards me or us. It was never them who truly cared about me obtaining an advantageous marriage anyway. Those ambitions were all my fathers and I suppose eventually my own.'

'If you're sure…'

'I am.'

'And when would you wish this visit to take place?' Although happy to oblige Kenna's wishes Bash was wary of inviting her family into the madness of French court any time soon.

'Like I said in time.'

This time rather than words Bash used a sigh and a raised eyebrow to convey the message: _could you be at least a little bit more specific?_ ' Kenna allowed herself to laugh slightly before getting into bed and answering Bash's silent question.

'I'm not completely sure. Whenever we're ready. I understand that that time may not come for quite a while and as much as I miss my brothers I'm not ready to see them here just yet either.'

'Was I that obvious?' Bash goes around the room extinguishing the candles before walking towards their bed.

'A little, but then again aren't all husbands scared of meeting their bride's much bigger and much tougher older brothers for the first time.'

'I wouldn't say that I was scared, Kenna. I was simply cautious of what they might experience here at court'. Bash climbs into bed beside Kenna.

'Of course, you're right, my mistake.' Kenna blows out the last remaining candle that rests on the table by her side of the bed. 'Goodnight.'

'Goodnight, Kenna.' It is silent for a while before Bash speaks again. 'Exactly how bigger, older and tougher are we talking?'

'Go to sleep Bash.'

It is silent for a few more minutes.

'I'm sure I could take them. If the situation called for it.'

Kenna yawns.

'Of course, dear.'

Bash rolls his eyes as Kenna smiles at her own joke.

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In the morning Kenna wakes up to Bash's arm around her waist and his chest pressed up against her back. It's a position she's found herself in before but it's the first time she thinks that she wants to stay like that. Usually she'll carefully remove his arm from around her waist and get straight out of bed. On morning's when she wakes up alone she suspects that he has just as hastily removed himself from such an embrace. It's to be expected she always tells herself. It's human nature to seek out contact and warmth, even in sleep. This morning, however, she feels a sense of hope and perhaps even longing. She hopes, for the first time, that it is _her_ and _her_ warmth that Bash seeks out in his sleep.

Rather than carefully extract herself from Bash's embrace Kenna settles into it slightly and closes her eyes. She doesn't think that she will be able to get back to sleep and in truth she doesn't want to. Kenna closes her eyes and lets herself focus on the feel of Bash so close to her and the comfort that _his_ warm brings her. She hopes that if she can stay like this she can pretend to still be asleep when he wakes. She may be ready to admit to herself that she craves his closeness but she doesn't know if she is quite ready to make him aware of such a fact.

It is some time before Kenna feels Bash begin to stir beside her. Although his movements quicken her pulse she makes a conscious effort to steady her breathing so that he doesn't suspect her to be awake. To her surprise Bash does not move away from her as quickly as she had originally expected. He stays close to her for a moment. Kenna begins to suspect that he had not really woken up at all until she hears him yawn behind her. As she lays there and waits to see what her husband will do Kenna feels as though all of her senses have suddenly been sent into overdrive. The hairs on her skin stand on end and every single nerve in her body feels _alive._ As she remembers to steady her breath once again Bash's arm tightens around her as he brings her closer momentarily and places a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder. At the sensation it takes every ounce of self-control that Kenna possesses to remain passive and 'asleep'. She is overwhelmed, not only by desire, but by the pure emotion that such a gesture of affection brings forth.

Kenna can understand desire. She can navigate lust. What she cannot deal with, at least not right now, is the clusterfuck of feelings that are circling around her head at this very moment. To Kenna such pure and yet complex feelings of affection are uncharted territory. This is why she chooses to close her eyes and ignore the thoughts in her head and instead focus on the sensations of her body. As Bash gets out of bed and begins to move around their bedchamber Kenna try to think of a way to 'wake up'. How do you go about appearing to wake up naturally when you have, in fact, been awake for at least half an hour?

Luckily for Kenna Bash decides that he is going to ignore last night's conversation and rather ungracefully knock his own shaving mirror to the ground.

'Shit!'

Stifling a smile Kenna opens her eyes and mumbles

'I thought we'd discussed this.'

'Shit. Kenna. Sorry.'

'It's okay' Kenna smiles reassuringly at Bash before she sits up in bed.

'Anyway I don't think I happened to drop my shaving mirror because it was too small.'

Kenna yawns. 'I was referring to our conversation about your grace. Or lack thereof. '

Bash smiles sheepishly 'Yes well I suppose there is some room for improvement.'

'It baffles me how such a _distinguished_ hunter can boast of great stealth in the woods and yet be so clumsy in his own bedchamber.'

Kenna gets out of bed and walks towards Bash, taking her time to appreciate the fact that he has yet to put on a shirt.

'Yes well…'

Before Bash even had a chance to think of something to say Kenna had captured his lips with her own. She had intended for the kiss to be slow and gentle. She had wanted to take her time so that she could savour the way her husband's lips felt and moved against her own. Kenna, however, had not anticipated the intense rush of desire that would consume her as soon his skin touched hers. Nor had she anticipated the enthusiasm with which Bash would respond to her advances. Barely a second of hesitation had passed before his hands were at her waist and in her hair; pulling her closer to him and making her gasp in anticipation. His lips were soft and firm and moved against hers with such urgency that she knew she wasn't the only one that was experiencing such _need._ Despite the intensity with which Bash kissed her he did not take complete control. Instead he let Kenna lead; only taking control in the moments when she would dig her fingernails into his skin and press her body closer to his and he could sense it was what she needed.

After a while Kenna's hands moved from around Bash's back to trace the lines of his chest and his stomach; savouring the feel of the hard lines of his body against her fingertips and the way in which his muscles jumped at her touch. As Kenna smiled at the obvious effect she was having on her husband Bash pushed gently against her waist until her back was pressed up against his desk. Taking the hint, Kenna jumped up onto the table and wrapped her legs around Bash's waist just as his lips attached themselves to her neck. One of Kenna's hands found its way back into Bash's hair whilst the other held on tightly to his shoulder. As his lips ventured lower and started paying attention to her collarbone Kenna couldn't help but sigh out his name.

At the sound Bash completely stilled.

'Bash?'

He didn't answer but simply buried his head in her neck and tried to gain control of his breathing.

'Bash? Bash, what's wrong?' It was as if a bucket of cold water hand been thrown over Kenna's head. She tried to fight against the thought but she couldn't help but feel as though he were rejecting her. That despite his actions he did not truly _want_ or _desire_ her.

'I…' Despite his best efforts to get his breathing under control his breaths were still coming out as short pants.

'What?' She had meant for her tone to come out harsh like the way in which she had grabbed a hold of his hair and forced him to look her in the eye but instead she had just sounded pained and desperate. When face with Kenna's apparent vulnerability Bash sobered up and placed a gentle kiss to her lips before resting his forehead against hers and saying.

'Not like this.'

'I don't understand.'

Suddenly there was a sharp knock at the door.

'My Lord your presence has been requested by the Dauphin.'

At the guard's words Kenna closed her eyes and attempted to swallow down all of the emotions she had stupidly allowed to come to the surface.

'I should go but we will talk later, I promise.'

With those words Bash dressed and hastily exited their chambers.


End file.
